The Case of the Missing Sticky Buns by George Pambrun

The Case of the Missing Sticky Buns by George Pambrun

What makes this case unusual, interesting and catchy is the title, which leads one to believe that it’s a funny story and initially, it was and then it wasn't, then it was. It all started with a comment made by a Snr Offr in the, Offr and Snr Nco coffee lounge, "no sticky buns today?"

I hope that you who read this, take it in the context for which it was intended. This story although humorous as reflected by the title, did have serious issues and consequences.

At the time I was stationed in Germany, Lahr to be precise in the Black Forest, with 4CMBG HQ and SIGNAL SQUADRON at the Kaserne. This story took place sometime around 1973-4, and I feel compelled to write on it because of its significance.

As I reflect back on our life in the Signal Squadrons, there were a lot of good people, good and tough times and all there for one purpose, to soldier, we were a large family, within a larger community and this became more evident when we were overseas. We did not have close family to rely on and our friends and comrades became our extended family. In the event of illness or deaths we turned to each other for support and if a soldier strayed from the basic disciplines, he would be dealt with, in the system for infractions and that could be by, Extra work and drill, a Summary trial or a Courts Martial, depending on the seriousness of the offence. I have to believe it was for the benefit of the system and for the individual being tried. For the most part, we had good and caring leaders.

This story took place not long after integration and this may have or not have an influence on the soldiers decision.

The Squadron had a small canteen that was run by the cooks and they provided coffee and snacks for coffee break and lunch. There was also a satellite canteen of sorts (no pun intended) in the HQ building for Officers and Snr Ncos providing coffee and German donuts and cakes often referred to as Sticky Buns. They were delivered by one of the cooks prior to coffee break each working day.

One day the Sticky Buns were not delivered as there was only one cook on duty and he could not leave the canteen, so he never made the delivery.

It so happened that the Sticky Buns were a favorite of the SSO Ops Col Evraire, who made the innocent comment, " no Sticky Buns today". What followed, was a sequence of events, the CO of the SQN over heard the comment and said to the SSM “Where are the Sticky Buns and the SSM turned to the SGT and the SGT phoned the M/Cpl Cook and the cook said "I am alone and I can’t leave the canteen unattended. So the Sgt, relays to the SSM and the SSM to the CO and the CO is pissed so he says to the SSM tell the Sgt to tell the cook to have the first person that comes into the canteen to deliver the Sticky Buns over here Tout suite”. So the SSM says to the, well you get the drift.

So the cook gets the Sticky Buns ready for the first person that comes into the canteen, it happens to be a Technician and he refuses to take the Sticky Buns, claiming that he is not a delivery person, "I am a Technician" or words to that effect? So to make a long story short, the Buns don’t get delivered. As I reflect back on that time in history, there was some sympathy. However there is that rule that says you can think what you want but seldom do you ever say it.

Sometime later the CO says to the SSM and away we go? The Sgt has to do an investigation and find out what happened? He finds out what happened and makes his report to the SSM, who reports to the CO. The CO says charge the Technician, SSM says to the SGT charge the Technician and the wheels are put in motion and the Technician is officially charged and put to summary trial.

I am not sure how I got mixed up in the trial? I must have been duty NCO and ended up as an escort. Anyway we end up before the CO who is Major Gerry Coady and the SSM is Sergeant Major Bob Conroy and the Sgt. I don’t remember the other participants.

The usual proceedings follow the CO says to the SSM march the guilty bastard in” No, I am just joking. That was a common joke amongst us soldiers that had been on “Orders Parade” and I thought I would throw it in as an added bit of humour..

The trial begins and after the preliminaries the CO asks the accused, if he has anything to say in his defence? The accused obviously believes and is convinced that he is justified in his actions and he goes into a long spiel about that he was a technician that his job was that above being a delivery boy. I am thinking, this is the wrong approach, it should be more of an extension of the truth look for clemency at this stage. i.e.: (my sister has joined a religious order and became an nun, or my brother joined the Van Doos any thing but what your saying.) that’s why I made this decision? I can see the CO's jaw twitching and I am thinking this is not good.

The CO asks if he is finished, the accused answers in the affirmative. Then the CO lights into the accused with what every trained soldier knows, that in the Army, you are a soldier first and a tradesman second. A soldier is taught to defend himself and his buddies and that has to come first and foremost before and above anything else. Do you understand, "what I have said soldier"? "Yes" was the reply. I hope this has been a valuable lesson to you. And I know you are a good soldier and tradesman. "I find you guilty as charged, One hundred and fifty dollar fine, Sergeant Major march em out." Man my jaw dropped along with a few others we figured it out later to be $15 dollars a STICKY BUN, that was a lot of money in the 70's.

Four things happened that day, 1. the reaffirmation of the principle, that you are a soldier first and foremost and a tradesman last. 2. When your given a job do, do, it or suffer the consequences 3. any mention of Sticky Buns transfers, soldiers immediately started, doubling asking where and when and 4. the guilty party was affectionately referred to as “Sticky Buns”.

As a result, there was wide respect for the Co, Major Jerry Coady, SSM Bob Conroy and the Sgt, first, for recognizing the situation, which was disobeying a lawful command and second the courage to deal with it. The outcome could have been a hell u va lot worse, from many aspects.

I have to admit I admired the young soldier and how he dealt with the results of this conviction. He admitted his erred ways, learned from his mistake, went on to become a good soldier, tradesman and took the ribbing.

Years later I had occasion to be sent back to Germany as an Umpire on a Reforger Exercise. All units met in Hohenfels, prior to the EX and I had met up with a few friends, Vince David and Andy Blais. We decided to visit the Service Battalion lines and visit with Ken Chessman, the Sigs troop Warrant, we found him in the mess and sitting at the next table with his back to us, was Sticky Buns a Mcpl, I believe. So I couldn’t pass this up and after the social amenities I said in a loud voice "I wonder where I could get some Sticky Buns. Sticky Buns braced up upon hearing my comment and he said without hesitation, “ I don’t have to even turn around to know who you are, you arrogant bastard Pambrun” and we all had a good laugh

That was the last time I saw him. I never mentioned his name, to protect the innocent and those that were there at the time will remember. VVV