The
Case of the Missing Sticky Buns by George Pambrun
What
makes this case unusual, interesting and catchy is the title, which leads one
to believe that it’s a funny story and initially, it was and then it wasn't,
then it was. It all started with a comment made by a Snr Offr in the, Offr and
Snr Nco coffee lounge, "no sticky buns today?"
I
hope that you who read this, take it in the context for which it was intended.
This story although humorous as reflected by the title, did have serious issues
and consequences.
At
the time I was stationed in Germany, Lahr to be precise in the Black Forest,
with 4CMBG HQ and SIGNAL SQUADRON at the Kaserne. This story took place
sometime around 1973-4, and I feel compelled to write on it because of its
significance.
As
I reflect back on our life in the Signal Squadrons, there were a lot of good
people, good and tough times and all there for one purpose, to soldier, we were
a large family, within a larger community and this became more evident when we
were overseas. We did not have close family to rely on and our friends and
comrades became our extended family. In the event of illness or deaths we
turned to each other for support and if a soldier strayed from the basic
disciplines, he would be dealt with, in the system for infractions and that
could be by, Extra work and drill, a Summary trial or a Courts Martial,
depending on the seriousness of the offence. I have to believe it was for the
benefit of the system and for the individual being tried. For the most part, we
had good and caring leaders.
This
story took place not long after integration and this may have or not have an
influence on the soldiers decision.
The Squadron had a small canteen that was run by the cooks and they provided
coffee and snacks for coffee break and lunch. There was also a satellite
canteen of sorts (no pun intended) in the HQ building for Officers and Snr Ncos
providing coffee and German donuts and cakes often referred to as Sticky Buns. They
were delivered by one of the cooks prior to coffee break each working day.
One
day the Sticky Buns were not delivered as there was only one cook on duty and
he could not leave the canteen, so he never made the delivery.
It
so happened that the Sticky Buns were a favorite of the SSO Ops Col Evraire,
who made the innocent comment, " no Sticky Buns today". What
followed, was a sequence of events, the CO of the SQN over heard the comment
and said to the SSM “Where are the Sticky Buns and the SSM turned to the SGT
and the SGT phoned the M/Cpl Cook and the cook said "I am alone and I
can’t leave the canteen unattended. So the Sgt, relays to the SSM and the SSM
to the CO and the CO is pissed so he says to the SSM tell the Sgt to tell the
cook to have the first person that comes into the canteen to deliver the Sticky
Buns over here Tout suite”. So the SSM says to the, well you get the drift.
So
the cook gets the Sticky Buns ready for the first person that comes into the
canteen, it happens to be a Technician and he refuses to take the Sticky Buns,
claiming that he is not a delivery person, "I am a Technician" or
words to that effect? So to make a long story short, the Buns don’t get
delivered. As I reflect back on that time in history, there was some sympathy. However
there is that rule that says you can think what you want but seldom do you ever
say it.
Sometime
later the CO says to the SSM and away we go? The Sgt has to do an investigation
and find out what happened? He finds out what happened and makes his report to
the SSM, who reports to the CO. The CO says charge the Technician, SSM says to
the SGT charge the Technician and the wheels are put in motion and the
Technician is officially charged and put to summary trial.
I
am not sure how I got mixed up in the trial? I must have been duty NCO and
ended up as an escort. Anyway we end up before the CO who is Major Gerry Coady
and the SSM is Sergeant Major Bob Conroy and the Sgt. I don’t remember the
other participants.
The
usual proceedings follow the CO says to the SSM march the guilty bastard in” No,
I am just joking. That was a common joke amongst us soldiers that had been on
“Orders Parade” and I thought I would throw it in as an added bit of humour..
The
trial begins and after the preliminaries the CO asks the accused, if he has
anything to say in his defence? The accused obviously believes and is convinced
that he is justified in his actions and he goes into a long spiel about that he
was a technician that his job was that above being a delivery boy. I am
thinking, this is the wrong approach, it should be more of an extension of the
truth look for clemency at this stage. i.e.: (my sister has joined a religious
order and became an nun, or my brother joined the Van Doos any thing but what
your saying.) that’s why I made this decision? I can see the CO's jaw twitching
and I am thinking this is not good.
The
CO asks if he is finished, the accused answers in the affirmative. Then the CO
lights into the accused with what every trained soldier knows, that in the
Army, you are a soldier first and a tradesman second. A soldier is taught to
defend himself and his buddies and that has to come first and foremost before
and above anything else. Do you understand, "what I have said
soldier"? "Yes" was the reply. I hope this has been a valuable
lesson to you. And I know you are a good soldier and tradesman. "I find
you guilty as charged, One hundred and fifty dollar fine, Sergeant Major march
em out." Man my jaw dropped along with a few others we figured it out
later to be $15 dollars a STICKY BUN, that was a lot of money in the 70's.
Four
things happened that day, 1. the reaffirmation of the principle, that you are a
soldier first and foremost and a tradesman last. 2. When your given a job do,
do, it or suffer the consequences 3. any mention of Sticky Buns transfers,
soldiers immediately started, doubling asking where and when and 4. the guilty
party was affectionately referred to as “Sticky Buns”.
As
a result, there was wide respect for the Co, Major Jerry Coady, SSM Bob Conroy
and the Sgt, first, for recognizing the situation, which was disobeying a
lawful command and second the courage to deal with it. The outcome could have
been a hell u va lot worse, from many aspects.
I
have to admit I admired the young soldier and how he dealt with the results of
this conviction. He admitted his erred ways, learned from his mistake, went on
to become a good soldier, tradesman and took the ribbing.
Years
later I had occasion to be sent back to Germany as an Umpire on a Reforger
Exercise. All units met in Hohenfels, prior to the EX and I had met up with a
few friends, Vince David and Andy Blais. We decided to visit the Service
Battalion lines and visit with Ken Chessman, the Sigs troop Warrant, we found
him in the mess and sitting at the next table with his back to us, was Sticky
Buns a Mcpl, I believe. So I couldn’t pass this up and after the social
amenities I said in a loud voice "I wonder where I could get some Sticky
Buns. Sticky Buns braced up upon hearing my comment and he said without
hesitation, “ I don’t have to even turn around to know who you are, you arrogant
bastard Pambrun” and we all had a good laugh
That
was the last time I saw him. I never mentioned his name, to protect the
innocent and those that were there at the time will remember. VVV